Soup's On!

11:10 am - Annoyed

Starting to get really fucking annoyed at getting yelled at for doing my job. My boss tells me to do something so I start doing it and the process restarts the main domain controller, which naturally fucks up everyone because this place was designed so badly. So now it's all MY fault as if I did something I wasn't supposed to do.

This shit is getting real old real fast.

Current Mood: angry

01:54 pm - New boss

Posting really quickly while he's distracted...

My new boss is so fucking secretive it's getting on my nerves! It's like he's afraid I'll hijack the company or his job if I overhear him even talking to AT&T helpdesk! It's rude and insulting when we're supposed to be professionals. They hired me because I know shit and can make his job easier, but he's cutting me out and treating me like an idiot.

Current Mood: annoyed

09:44 am - Blah

Been forever since I posted so just tossing out an update.

New job, dating, etc. Life is okay right now. Can't complain. :P

Current Mood: apathetic

09:57 pm - Yay!

I got a job offer today, pretty much right at the interview. I really want to take it, but I'm afraid of jumping too early and missing another opportunity. But honestly, this is a very good opportunity to get in on some cool technology. Since I am also thinking of moving this would be a good time to consider that as well.

Also, stuck my foot in my mouth (again) with Julea. It's like swimming against the current with her though, starting to lose interest. She's not trying to string me along, she's honest about where I stand, but I shouldn't have to try and impress her. So I'm probably going to cut back on talking to her.

Current Mood: crazy

10:11 am - Bouncey Bouncey

I am not updating as much as I could/should, but who the hell is reading this besides me? No one.

So Julea came over last Saturday night. I cleaned the apartment up REALLY nice, spent like $100 on furnishing the dinner table to make it look pretty, and I cooked up some good dinner. We went to see "Enchanted" afterwards and both enjoyed it. I'm still trying to get the stick out of my butt and relax, but things are still moving along nicely. It's nothing concrete or committed but I see great potential.

So I am still looking around. There are two women at work I like, but I'm not sure about.

1) She's a cute woman, I think she's pretty. She's a bit quiet and withdrawn at times, at others she's very much a strong woman figure who's got some fire. We've only ever really talked through work though so I'm not sure about her beyond the office.

2) She's a bit older than me and I think she's got a psychosis about getting old. I think she's a beautiful woman who just needs to relax and get over herself. I see that sometimes, then other times she clams up into a shallow person. I think if I asked her out, being younger and geekier than she's probably looking for, I'd get turned down.

In either case above I am done with this job after next week so what do I lose by not trying?

Current Mood: chipper

10:33 am - Brief update

Christmas stunk, as usual. Long drive, little fun, and lots of tired/annoyed. The usual for Christmas.

Julea keeps talking to me about chemistry and whatnot, so I don't think she's as interested as I hoped. She's a great girl and fun to be around, so I will probably just settle for friendship. Who knows.

And work is Hell this morning. Exchange is broken and our paid vendor has done SHIT to fix it. Also, a user who lost their BlackBerry is giving me shit about it as they expect me to crap a new one for them today.

Life is fun.

Current Mood: annoyed

09:54 am - Political Commentary

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/education/14853099/detail.html

When the hell did we start sacrificing our freedom for imagined safety? Since when is someone who hates someone else automatically a criminal? Children make lists because it's what kids do and every person knows in their youth they made their own list of people they wish weren't there or who they disliked. It happens, kids do it, but now we're treating them like criminals for it. Screw you hypocritical morons who do this crap, who start this kind of ultra-protectivism that strips away more and more of our freedom because you refuse to address the source of the problem.

People don't want to be bothered, they don't want to think, they just want it done for them. Every parent whose child goes crazy and kills someone is just as responsible for those deaths. Why? Because it's your FUCKING JOB to raise you goddamn child you fucking lazy assholes. RAISE your damn kids, teach them morals, teach them right and wrong, and keep the fucking guns out of their hands.

Damn you people are going to blow this company up.

Current Mood: annoyed

08:31 am - Yay and such

Some good news it seems. My contract is being renewed for at least a couple more weeks until they officially hire a System Administrator for the webservers. It's either him or me and they desparately need a Linux admin and I just do not have the time to learn it all. So at least that means I'm going to be paid a little while longer. Also, the new IT head honcho is a very cool guy and he's going to be helping me out with my resume and job hunting. I really appreciate that and I hate that when I thank him it sounds so hollow, it's probably just the general stress of the situation.

Julea and I are talking at random via email as she suffers through finals at Tech, an experience I have thankfully put behind me. We're going to be doing something this weekend though so I am excited about that.

Oh, and Command & Conquer 3 is addictive. Time flies past while playing it. ¬¬

Current Mood: amused

02:51 pm - Life is about change

Okay, so things with Julea are actually picking up. We're still talking quite a bit and after some discussion we're going to do a second date once her finals are finished. I know how stressful finals are so I'm just being supportive and keeping her laughing.

I am back job hunting too. The company I work for treats employees horribly and I'm getting tired of being treated like a dumb intern. The promises they made never panned out, they eliminated the position I was SUPPOSED to be working to, and I doubt they're willing to pay me the kind of money I want to continue on at this low level functionary which was supposed to be temporary. I haven't been let go or fired, but I know it's going to happen so I am just getting a jump on things. Technically I work for the recruiter and not them, so even if they 'let me go' I am still working for someone, just not getting paid. :P

So back to job hunting.

Current Mood: annoyed

08:13 am - I hate the holidays

The holidays are always too stressful and I am just so tired of them. Make them go away, but let me keep the vacation days.

Anyway, the carpet sharks (ferrets) are getting along better and better every day now. They wrestle a lot more than before and Regan's the one instigating and bullying now, so I have to be careful to try and equalize things. Picking them both up by the scruff and holding them to my eye-level tends to reinforce that no matter which of them is the dominant ferret I am the dominant life-form (in size at least :P).

I'm back to job hunting again because I don't think the company I work for now will hire me on permanently and I do not trust this headhunter to keep my best interests at heart. So far I have one promising lead, another position about 4 miles from my apartment no less. So I'm spending a lot of my time brushing up my resume and using Monster.

Julea and I have been talking for awhile now and neither of us are really feeling a relationship chemistry. She's a wonderful woman and interesting, but there's just too much in common, if that makes any sense. I think if we were closer to the same age we'd make great friends, but since I'm a couple years older that could make things awkward.

I'm still communicating with Erin over the phone but she's been so busy as of late I haven't gotten more than five minutes with her. I'm going to try again tonight, but if I get the same thing I'm probably going to wait until she calls in the future. There's only so much chasing I am willing to do.

Current Mood: complacent

09:31 am - Ferret Harmony

It has taken almost two weeks but Regan & Nyx are now getting along much better. They wrestle and chase, but I can now clearly see that it's fun and not fighting. I think Regan's accepted that she's not as big or bad as she thought, though that doesn't keep her from instigating the games. Last night I went to put them to bed and found them curled up together in my dresser drawer. So I think things will get better with them.

On a side note.. Nyx has the WORST smelling pee in the history of pee. EW!

Current Mood: happy

11:10 am - Stolen from Marcus

Directions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

1) Are you a male or female? Dave Matthews, "Crash" (Manly cause of the crashes? It is kind of a boy/man-centered song.)

2) Describe yourself? Lost Prophets, "Faithless" (hehe)

3) How do you feel about yourself? Creed, "Higher" (Symbolic perhaps)

4) Describe your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend: The Corrs, "Breathless"

5) Describe your current partner: Snow Patrol, "Hands Open" (Perfectly random but true)

6) Describe your current location: Fall Out Boy, "Sugar We're Goin' Down" (South)

7) Describe what you want to be: Dashboard Confessional, "Stolen" (Away from here anyway)

8) Describe your best friend: Metallica, "Bleeding Me" (Can I borrow $5?)

9) Your favorite color is: 3 Day's Grace, "I Hate Everything About You" (Red?)

10) You know that: Lou Bega, "Mambo #5" ([Boogies])

11) What is the weather like? Korn, "Freak on a Leash" (Make up your mind!)

12) If your life was a television show, what would it be called? Velvet Revolver, "Big Machine" ([flex])

13) What is life to you? Audioslave, "Drown Me Slowly" (Work, stress, yeah... x__X)

14) What is the best advice you have to give? Hoobastank, "From the Heart" (oh, a good one)

15) Describe your love life: Michelle Branch, "Goodbye to You" (A break-up song? Damnit!)

16) How are you going to die? The Mighty Mighty Bosstons, "The Impression That I Get" (I am going to get crushed by a piano.)

17) If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Uncle Kracker, "Follow Me" (hehe, kracker... wait, I get called that already)

18) What do your friends think of you? Evanescence, "My Immortal"

19) What is your funeral song going to be? Unwritten Law, "Seein' Red" (Scarily accurate)

20) What are you going to repost this as? Sugar Ray, "Fly"

Current Mood: silly

10:57 am - Uh oh...

I think I'm in love... Julea is PERFECT.

Current Mood: giddy

10:50 am - Version 2.0?

For the last couple days I have been emailing/IMing with a young lady I met from GA Tech (my altamater). She's finishing up her college career this spring and we've been getting along REALLY well.

It's kind of funny but the first time I saw her and talked to her the first thing that went through my head was "She's an Audra clone." But the more I have gotten to talk with Julea and learn more about her the more I realize that she's all the best parts I liked in Aud but has made all the personal growth and changes that I tried to force on Aud for years. It gave me pause to think back and I got a bit nostalgic, but then it faded quickly.

This is not to say Aud is a bad person or flawed, far from it. I see the failure being solely from my side of the relationship. We weren't right for one another, I should have seen it earlier and had the strength to break up a year or two ago. I could see it coming but she was too sweet and I was too selfish to tell her the truth. Granted she pretty much hates my guts now, but I still wish her the best. It's my point of closure I guess, so don't expect to see her name pop up any more.

Julea is, like I said, everything I loved about Aud and none of the things that I disliked. She's full of energy, drive, and a freakin' 4.0 GPA at Tech is no laughing matter! She's also lost a lot of weight like me and undergoing the whole self-discovery phase of life after that huge change. I really do like her and I think she likes me too, since she insisted that I email her over Thanksgiving.

I am still talking to Erin on the phone, but it's been a couple days with the holidays and everything. I'm also talking to a nice girl from China, she's living in the states now and working as an accountant. So I'm keeping my options open and exploring all there is to see.

Current Mood: hopeful

08:18 am - 2 ferrets better than 1? Not sure

Okay, I adopted a second ferret to be a playmate with my current little girl (1.3 years old) Regan. This new ferret is about the same age but like 50% bigger, a neutered female I am calling Nyx. At the adoption center they played and got along just fine, but every since bringing them home the trouble has begun.

I realize ferrets can play rough but everytime Nyx sees Regan she goes to her and starts sniffing and typically pounces her. Regan cries and whines and can't really fight back, so she's constantly on the losing side. When I see things getting this one-sided I step in and separate them, but Nyx goes right back in while Regan tries to slink off somewhere quiet to be alone and sleep. If I don't keep Nyx occupied she follows her all the time and there's always squabbling. I've read the Dummies guide that says it can take days or weeks for two ferrets to get along, but I don't like seeing Regan being so scared all the time.

They share a large 4 level cage where each has kind of staked out a claim to sleep, but I get the suspicion Nyx is being territorial about the food area because Regan nearly tore the food bag apart when I gave her the opportunity to eat from it. (I've never seen her eat so much except after fasting.) As soon as Nyx saw the bag (she had been eating in the cage) she rushed down and started rooting in it too, which made Regan grab a mouthful and run off to eat in peace.

Regan didn't come out at all yesterday evening and just stayed curled up all night in her drawers, ones that Nyx couldn't get into because she was too big. Nyx is very energetic and playful, a normal ferret and very well-behaved with me (no serious biting). But I am considering taking Nyx back to the shelter if relations don't improve. I would really like a playmate for Regan, but I don't want to see her getting scruffed and crying every time the other ferret comes out.

Current Mood: worried

10:57 am - 2 ferrets better than 1?

So I decided to go ahead and adopt a 2nd ferret. I ended up with a chocolate colored girl about Regan's age, but about 30% bigger than she is. So far they seemed to be getting along alright, but Regan is such a princess and she is being a bit of a brat. I just hope that given enough time the two will start to really get along. I mainly got the second ferret, Nyx, to be a playmate for Regan but she's much more mild-mannered and friendly so I think I'm going to really like her.

Last night I was up until about 11:30 talking to Erin on the phone. We always have animated conversations and it's a lot of fun, but with the holiday week we might not be able to get together until next week. It sucks but that's fine with me, I'm patient.

Current Mood: hopeful

08:34 am - Ray of sunshine

Current Mood: amused

08:34 am - Keep on truckin'

Current Mood: anxious

01:22 pm - Not what I call helpful

I am worried about my job because my bosses continue to make promises and never live up to them. Now granted my job is pretty good and everything is going well, but that feel of instability like my job can go away at any point isn't good. I like having a stable job I know will be here when I wake up in the morning.

Like a dummy I emailed my rep with the contractor who hired me for this temp job, and they gave me the usual fluff. Apparently with this new CIO coming on they might not hire me permanently (for more money) like they originally said they would. What the hell? And the lady actually forwards me an email from her boss saying (almost word for word) what he told her to say to me. WTF? Back to Monster.com and maybe a job where I can know my position isn't an after-thought. 

Current Mood: working

09:12 am - Dramaaaaaaaa!

Alright, so I was supposed to be going on a date tonight with Jaime. Well, apparently the guy she broke up with a couple months ago (whom she had had a 6 year relationship with) and her had a heart-to-heart and are getting back together. She was very polite and flattering to me about it, and it's not like I didn't expect it when she'd mentioned him a couple times. Still, it kind of sucks because she and I had hit it off very well and I did like her, and she liked me, but I guess she loves the guy. I hope she's happy then, because she was a genuinely nice girl.

As for me, it's back into the game again. Thankfully I'm talking to a couple women via phone and email, anything to get me out and actively dating.

Regan Update:
Regan has a nasty looking wound on her belly from the surgery and she keeps tugging at her stitches. It's also a constant guilt-trip having to keep her in her cage all day and night, because I know she hates it and keeps trying to break down the door by shaking it. But she's at least recovering fairly well and according to the doctor she'll be fine in awhile.

Current Mood: disappointed